Never trust a tuk tuk

Train tickets?

2006-08-10T05:20:00.000-07:00

Why are the majority of the train systems in some of the worlds best cities so absolutely atrocious?

I truly don't understand what is going through the governments minds when they decide to have a subway or monorail system built. If it were me I would maybe look round at other systems, see what you think is good, and cherry pick all the best bits from all the existing citys' systems. But I think what actually happens is that they go for the first option on the list before reading the second one so they can still get out for a spot of lunch.

Lets take Kuala Lumpur, Singapore and Tokyo as examples of fine cities which in my opinion have transport systems which were part of the dash for lunch decision making.

So buying a ticket in KL is all quite easy and automated, there are machines near the entrance gates where you can go and buy your ticket. Mind you, you can only buy one single ticket, not a day pass for example, so every time you wish to travel you must go and buy a ticket - maybe queueing up first to do so. Now that would be fine if it were not for the fabulous design of the operation of the machines. The first problem is that they must have taken all the old computers that people had thrown away in the 90s and are trying to power the flash touch screen machines, which gives a not dissimilar experience to watching a bear wake from its hibernation. The second wonderful little known and unusual rule (some of the regular users don't know this) is that you can only use one note in one transaction. It is important to think at this point of the currency situation in Malaysia and it's differences to the UK, in that it is possible to pay for a ticket in three notes if you like, rather than in the UK putting one note in and then getting change. So the one note rule means that you have to have quite a lot a change to get your ticket for just that journey. Of course you can get change from the man in a booth, but he can't sell you a ticket, he can only give change, so back in the queue you go! Add this to the fact that there are usually 50% of the machines with some error on the screen that won't go away - maybe they should put a little restart button for people to press?

Having successfully obtained your ticket, you encounter the fabulously designed flexible gate systems. The idea is great. You can enter the gates from either side, so allowing people who are coming off the trains to use all of the gates, especially as there are probably few people coming the other way. What is good fun tho is when people are coming the other way! You see it turns into a race into who can get their card into the machine first, blocking the other person from getting theirs in. So as the masses of people are mauling behind you, you have to make space for the person who has just beaten you to getting her ticket in first.

After you train journey, you would expect to be able to go where you decide? Yeah? No! This is where the fabulous Singapore system makes you go back to a ticket machine, just like the one you bought your ticket from to get the deposit that was originally included in the price of the card. So increasing the queues and the time necessary to complete a journey. Now you can get smart to this by keeping the card in your pocket until you go to buy your next ticket, and get the deposit back at the same time as you buy the new one, but invariably as you search through you pockets you realise your ticket is draped over the chair in the hotel room in the pair of shorts you wore the previous day.

So why are the systems so user obtrusive? I'm not even going to start on the fact that different lines don't link together in KL, Singapore or Tokyo, and invariably involve a 5 minute walk to the other line - plus the purchase of a new ticket for that train company.

Now I think that's enough on train tickets!

Singapore

2006-08-10T05:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it's easy to live life on the edge in Singapore, so that's exactly what I did.

First I went J walking a few times, combined with crossing at some traffic lights when the green man wasn't on. Unknown to me I broke another rule when I got caught EATING! on the train, however I happily managed to avoid the 500 dollar fine... I didn't have the balls to drop some litter, or have a spit somewhere, I think it would have been too much of an adrenalin rush.

East Coast Malaysia

2006-08-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

Pulau Perhentian - the beach outside my room

Kuala Lumpur

2006-07-30T03:58:00.000-07:00

Tallest buildings in the world - The Petronas Towers

Moving South down Vietnam

2006-07-21T03:07:00.000-07:00

The motorbikes that were to take us through the central highlands

So the bike ride. Well we arrived in Dalat which is the gateway to central highlands of Vietnam. It's up in the mountains, leading to the necessity of jeans and jumpers. The city is famous for honeymooners, and is the city of romance - being called le petit Paris, as there is also a small Eiffel tower. First of all we went to the Valley of Love, and generally laughed at all of the 'romantic' things they had on offer. It was a little like forced romance, and luckily we arrived just as it was closing on a damp and drizzly day, so we missed the romantic circus that would usually be there. There was however a lovely view over a valley, somehow overshadowed by being asked by 20 people to have our picture taken with them in the love heart overlooking the valley!
The next day we were off with the Easy Riders. These are a bunch of guys who will take you round the mountain areas on their bikes, and give you a chance to experience parts of the country which are usually inaccessible. Now why they are called Easy Riders I have no idea, because they are easily the fastest thing on the roads, and nothing about it is easy going like the name suggests. It's as though you are being chased by the police for the whole time, and they are desperate to get away. But because of their enthusiasm for breakneck speed, it did mean that we covered a lot of miles, and got to see a lot in the two and a bit days we were with them.

Introduction to the silk manufacture process

The journey was broken up by numerous little stops to see silk worms, cashew nut factories, coffee plantations, basket weavers, silk weaving, as well as visits to see the minorities and their traditional houses. This was a side to Vietnam that would have been difficult to see otherwise and also helped remove the 'Monkey Bum' that we were all getting from being on the bikes.

25 years of conflict was easy to see

Vietnamise Coffee - like drinking melted chocolate

A mahusive buddha

Jungle Beach

By luck more than anything, Matt and I decided to go off to a tiny little 'hotel' 60km north of Nah Trang for some beach action. It was idyllic.

Matt and I were told that there were photoluminescence plankton in the sea, so after dinner we slowly found our way in the dark to the beach and into the black water. As we slowly started making our way out into deeper water, these little flashes started appearing here and there. When we moved our legs and arms around under water it was like there were hundreds of little sparkling stars around us. You have to keep moving for them to light up, but it was the simultaneously most creepy and exciting thing. You can't see what is making the light, but there were hundreds of them! It was really really amazing! God knows what we much have looked like - dancing like crazy fools in the water!

The shakey starts and nervous cornering were later to be explained when she couldn't show her driving license to the police!

Vietnam - Halong Bay

2006-07-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

Matt and I are off to Halong Bay for some beach and kayaking.... more to follow

Bangkok

2006-07-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I really like BK! It's clean, civilised, the people are really friendly and funny too. I went walking round yesterday for miles, just following my nose and it was really good, although I did knacker myself out a bit. Starting at Th Koa San I went past the Royal Palace, past cos they wouldn't let me in with shorts on (but went back this morning wearing full scuba outfit) and then through Chinatown and onto the subway, which was very good, and then on the Skyway which has such a better name than Londons DLR. I would have liked to have looked at the view, but was more concerned that maybe I was going in the wrong direction, and the 'what stop did I need to get off at again' internal questions! So eventually I ended up in the business district which is how I expect a business district to be. Tall shiny buildings, nice green parks with benches and no-one sat on them, plenty of coffee shops and fast food joints and of course the flashy shops for all those rich people to get rid of their money. Please take note all those town planners in Delhi.

Then off to the big shopping malls of Siam. As you would expect it was pretty plush, with all the normal shops, Armarni, B&O etc, but also had show rooms for Ferrari, Lamborghini, Masterati, oh and BMW.... The Murcielago is the best thing, I never thought that a Ferarri would pale in comparision to any other car, but put next to each other, the lamorghini gets all the gazes. But what got me the most was the high tech stuff in the mall. In the lifts and shops there were holographic TVs. Now maybe they are out in the UK, but I haven't seen them. But if you haven't seen one before it's quite a weird sight, the product they are advertising actually comes out of the screen at you. There is still some work to do on the resolution of the image, but it really works. Wow! On the same theme they also had an Imax cinema, which I have only ever seen really odd films being shown, nothing that is in the normal line up. But they had Superman Returns, so hurridly off I went to get myself in the next show. I really enjoyed it, and I think that it is a real glimse of how the whole idea of watching something will be transformed.

Sri Lanka-ka-ka-ka

2006-07-07T05:11:00.000-07:00

Being confined to the beach was a terrible thing

After a bit of luxury on the first night in swanky hotel, I bought an
overnight sleeper ticket to a city on the North East of the Island
renowned for its stunning beaches, snorkeling and diving. The ticket was surprisingly cheap, cheaper than India, which I thought was odd, but all was to be explained when I got on the train. Well the 'sleeper' bit of the ticket is obviously some kind of translation error. There aren't any beds, just seats, so there's not so much sleeping going on in my case. Of course the man who was sat next to me had no problems at all. He managed to overflow his generous rolls of belly on to my seat, take the whole arm rest and open his legs out as wide as they could so I was being pressed into the window. Then to my delight his head lolled towards me and started that well known tune 'I'm gonna snore really bloody loudly' that we all know and love. What made this even more frustrating from my part was that this guy didn't even have a ticket for the 'sleeper' carriage, he just snook in after the ticket man had left. Well I thought that the only way to make myself feel better in the condition was to gently drop bogies into his gaping mouth. Well, I didn't really, but that's what I would have liked to have done, next to rubbing his chewed pen lid round my arse.

Having arrived at my destination (Trinco) I thought it was very though that the army were searching through everyones bags and in my sleepy state didn't think anything more of it. For some reason I didn't think the next two army road block we passed through on the bus were strange and eventually I arrived at a lovely little beachside collection of huts where I could recover some lost sleep.

Feeling refreshed off I went for a walk along the beach. Awfully quiet I thought for such a well know beach area. There was not a single tourist in any of the hotels I popped in to see along the beach, and most hotels were surprised but pleased to see me. As I was continuing my walk along the bay I heard this rather large bang in the distance, odd I thought, but carried on blissfully unaware.

That is of course until I went for dinner in one of the restaurants and got chatting to some NGOs who were working in the city. Well it would appear that just before I had arrived there was shelling across the bay I was staying at, from one side to the other. The explosion I heard was a bomb being detonated at one of the check points which killed 6 and seriously injured 15. It would appear that the whole place was at flash point. Then the reason why there were so many white 4x4s and pickups from NGOs driving round. So many acronyms which I have never heard of others better known such as the UN, who advised me that I should avoid going into the city, and just stay round the beach area! So it was with much regret that I was forced to lay by the pool
in for three days, before catching the train back again.

Udaipur - Wow!

2006-06-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

Well it's definitely my favourite place and its seems I'm not alone. Much of the city was used to film the Bond film Octopussy, which most restuarants will play for you in the evening. Quite a surreal experience to watch the film, and then glance over the balcony to see exactly the same scene, just with less guns and beautiful ladies!

Car used in Octopussy!

Western Rajhasthan

2006-06-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

The blue painted homes of Jodpur

Golden fort in Jaisalmer

Bombay - it's an island you know!

2006-06-24T03:11:00.000-07:00

Bombay High Court just behind the city centre cricket pitch

5000 men wash tons of Bombays washing here!

Why never trust a tuk tuk?

2006-06-23T06:39:00.000-07:00

I thought I should offer some explanation on why to never trust a tuk tuk. I think all people I have met have had bad experiences with them, and throughout India they are an annoying necessity that can really test your patience. Whether its the haggling over the fare before you start, the changing the fare at the end of a days sight seeing (100% in some cases) or just the fact that they drive like they have just split acid on their lap, everyone has a dislike of the breed. Upon agreeing where to go, they will invariably take you to a shop, 'just to look, no charge for looking' as they all get their commission if the shop owner hears the flip flops of tourists.

And of course there is the fantastic taxi situation at Delhi airport, surely masterminded by the finest. It's illegal to have Indian currency outside India, so it is necessary to enter with no Rupees. No problem you think - I'll use the cash machine at the airport. But no, it doesn't accept foreign cards, maybe the most useless installation in the airport. So you have two choices to get to you hotel, but remember that tens of people are swarming round you, trying to pull you this way and that into their taxi. The first option is to use a real taxi. These you know will charge a fixed price, because you pay for the tickets up front in a little booth, a good idea of getting some quality of service I can hear the Watchdog viewers saying. But no, remember you have no money to pay for the prepaid taxi, and of course they wont take Visa. So eventually you crumble to the persistent little bugger who has been pulling at your arm for the last 10 minutes and get into his illegal taxi.
Initially this seems good, at about half the price, you're quietly chuffed that you've got a good deal, especially as he'll stop at an ATM for you, but the list of events to follow that happened to me is not unusual.

The two guys in the taxi were trying to rip me off so much, they would stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere and say 'this is it', when obviously we weren't in middle of the capital city of India. Then a story was concocted that the main road that the hotel was on didn't exist (which I later found out to be one of the main roads running through Delhi), then said that the road was too small for taxis and I had to pay more to get a rickshaw. Refusing to leave the taxi until they took me to a landmark which I could recognise in the area where the hotel was, they took me to a tourist office that would check on my reservation and to my surprise they said the hotel has closed. At one point they tried to drop me off at a womens army training camp, but I managed to out fox them by reading the sign, err durr! When eventually we arrived at the hotel a fake manager came to the taxi window, introduced himself and told me with much regret that it was full. I of course asked him to tell me this in the reception, something which suprisingly for the manager, he couldn't do! So into reception I walked and twenty seconds later triumphantly got a key to a room!

Curious Incident About the Dog in the Morning

2006-06-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

Got in a bit of a sticky situation leaving Agra. I was off to the station at 4am, and there were not tuk-tuks about - even though I was told that there would be loads, so I had to walk to the main road. Remember - never trust a tuk tuk! It was pitch black, I was walking up the street, and then this dog came into the road, looked at me and started growling. I started to walk back and then within about 10s there were about 10 dogs surrounding me and the they started to get closer. I realised that I had to try and scare them off, but whenever I had my back to one of them they would attack me. Bloody shitting myself! After a lot of running in lots of directions at once, I managed to get past them, but whoooo I'm getting a big steel rod to carry with me!

Camel Safari

2006-06-16T22:57:00.000-07:00

I had the option of touristic or non touristic. I wasn't particularly bothered, but as I chose to go for a three day camel safari, I could do both. To give you an idea of how remote this place was, I had been travelling on a train for 15 hours, the last six of which were just desert and the occasional bush or hut. Only tens of kilometers from the Pakistan boarder. its really hot and they haven't had any rain now for 11 months. This was one hostile environment. From my hotel in Jaisalmer I took a jeep to a little village where I was to meet my camel, but I think the real reason for taking me there was to entertain the locals with my sunglasses, blond hairy legs and white skin. I got introduced to my guide, jumped on the back of the camel and off we went. After a few minutes I asked in the English that you reserve for natives when you're on holiday if we were going to meet other people. Oh yes my guide replied. Oh good I thought, I'll look forward to some English chats later. As time went on, I started to ask a bit further. Yes we were going to meet people, but only if we happened to see them as we were padding across the desert. Suddenly the realisation hit me that it was just me, my guide and two camels for three days! Maybe it's not so bad looking back, but when you expect to be with another westerner or two, and then don't it's kinda unsettling. After about two hours my ass was getting sore, but I was hoping that it would just be a settling in thing, after all, people do these things for 20 days! But no, SARS, also known as sore arse syndrome hit and stayer for about three days. It wasn't much helped by the 8 hour train and 9 hour bus journey that were due to follow either.... So we trekked across deserts of all different kinds, most of which were in a massive sand storm. This made sleeping particularly challenging, as the romantic thought of sleeping under the stars actually turned out to be like putting your head out of a car window on the motorway and then having someone throw buckets of sand at you repeatedly. Now I realise how useful a turban is for making yourself into a living mummy in order to try and get some sleep.

Luckily SARS was relieved when we stopped for lunch and dinner. Off my guide popped to find some twigs, and then in a flash he had a fire going, some tea on the go, patting chapattis into shape and making some delicious vegetable curry. Of course we had to avoid the 12-3pm period because of the heat, and the camels also needed some time to go and eat a tree or two, so all there was to do was to laze under the shade of a tree, occasionally dozing, but not doing anything more strenuous than that.
On the second day my camel fell over. Luckily, I was sitting sideways in an attempt to try and relieve a severe case of SARS, and so when the camel fell, I managed to just hop off, and although I got a few cuts, was relatively unscathed. I didn't realise this, but camels are particularly nervous creatures, and on sight of me falling off, my guides camel bolted, throwing him off, which then had a chain reaction on my camel, and so the two of them ran off in different directions into the horizon! After we eventually got them back, they were never really the same. The next day, my guides camel was screaming the whole time. He couldn't control it, and spent the best part of the first two hours of the third day being galloped up and down dunes in a seemingly random display of madness by the camel. If I had of seen it on TV, it would have made a brilliant comedy sketch. Just being able to see some guy occasional as they went over the crest of a dune and the disappear into the trough of the next, getting thrown around as screaming at it in Hindi. Whenever he came into earshot I would ask if he was alright, and he would shout 'yeah, everything's fine' before continuing to try and make the camel stop, or alternatively, just hold on for dear life! Eventually the camel tired and returned, foaming at the mouth, which of course as my guide explained, meant that he had trained him. I'm no expert, but it wasn't how I expected training to be.
So it was a pretty good adventure, and also pretty enjoyable, even though most of the food we had was crunchy with sand in it, but it all made for the experience. I don't know if I would be too eager to jump back on, but glad I did it!

My Magical Palm Reading!

2006-06-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

Well, having always been a sucker for all that mumbo jumbo, I thought I'd give it a go when I was walking through the City Palace in Jaipur. It wasn't the spiritual experience I was expecting, more like sitting in a dirty cafe, but I enjoyed it nevertheless. He also seemed to be quite specific, and didn't ask me any leading questions, just my date of birth. He also incorporated the whole thing with a face reading...

Ok, so here's what he said - so that I can look back in the future and see if he was right!

Well, I don't know where to start, but one of the things he kept mentioning was that it was important for me to start meditating, and writing a diary - I didn't ask if a blog was suitable, but I'm guessing it's ok. Important colours for me are pink and blue, and I should especially use blue when meditating. White was also good, and so luck gems for me are blue sapphire and pearl.
Sun salutation was also important for me, and I should have a picture of the sun rising on an east wall in my house and an east facing window.
Sunday and Monday are good days for me, and the 2nd, 11th, 20th and 29th are important or lucky dates.
He said that I was very trustworthy, honest, hardworking and generally a pretty good chap - I hadn't paid him by this point remember tho!
And then he got onto important parts of my life. Between the ages of 2 and 4 I was very ill apparently - I'll have to confirm with my mum. At the age of 27 I will have life long love, and this will be very happy all the way through life. I will have a very beautiful and faithful woman, and we will be happy for the whole of our lives, without exception! I will also have three children. At the age of 45 I will have a very large and unexpected promotion of kinds, and at the age of 56 I will gain much popularity and become very well know by many people. However I will have problems with my digestion and my heart at the age of 68. I can avoid this by being careful with what I eat, and doing morning exercise, especially the three years prior. Also at the age of 59 I will not be able to go on a long sea or water journey because of my health. Throughout my life he said that I would be very well thought of and respected, and have many good friends. At the age of 84 I would die.

Well, we'll have to wait and see!

Monkey Temple?

2006-06-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

I went to see a temple nicknamed 'Monkey Temple' because there are up to 6000 monkeys that cover it in the morning and dusk time. Well, having spoken to some people who had been there a few days previously, and had been really impressed by it, I got up early and did the relatively long tuk tuk ride. Eventually after climbing the fairly big hill where the temple was sited, there wasn't a single monkey - not one! I was in the right place, the sign was there and everything, I just managed to pick probably the only period in time which there has never been a monkey on Monkey Temple! Here's one of the buggers at the bottom of the hill!

Indian Animals

2006-06-10T04:37:00.000-07:00

Away from Delhi

2006-06-05T00:24:00.000-07:00

I'm in Agra at the moment, after a hasty retreat from Delhi. I was really shocked by the level of deprivation, and dirtyness and just uncivilisedness of it all - especially for a capital city. I went to the business district first - I thought it would be a nice, well presented area, but it was unbelievable. Not that I was expecting Canary Wharf, but it was really, really shitty. Then I tried to do my own guided tour, and got lost in what I now know is the worst part of Delhi, oh bejesus - I was dying to get out of there! I felt as though I had lived a really really sheltered life!

Anyway Agra is cool, I get talking to a lot of the locals because I'm on my own. Two guys I met on the train bought me breakfast afterwards, real Indian style - my mums words about stomachs were going through my head when I was eating it! The train was a pretty good experience, the platform was packed with people trying to get on. There was literally no more space for any people. The doors would not close, so we went along with them open. I lost a flip flop tyring to pull myselfp up onto a luggage cage at the top of the carriage. People were screaming and shouting at people, one guy was making fun of me, but that's cool cos he'll be a maggot in his next life, and as one Indian guy said who get the train every day, it was 'extra-ordinary.' Just when I thought no more people could get on the train, two riffles get pushed into the doorway, suprisingly some space is made and then some army guys get on. It made me think how well Richard Brandson has done!

Also tried a pair of those Bose headphones on - the ones that cancel out outside noise. Wow, they were really good. The man was playing on a hifi the engine roar you get in the plane cabin pretty loud - so you would have to raise your voice to be heard, and then I listen to some Phil Collins through the headphones. It was brilliant. My mum was right though, it does damage your ears, because after I had the demo I asked the price, and immediately had to ask him to repeat himself! Maybe see how much they are in Singapore!